NO ONE Deserves to Be Abused

(Originally posted on Facebook August 3, 2014)

This Sunday message is a little different, so I hope you'll bear with me. I've had something on my mind for quite some time, and feel it needs to be shared. 

Several weeks ago, we went to see some friends perform with their band at a local restaurant. As we were waiting for the show to start, I saw a man walk in practically dragging a woman by the hand behind him. He was very loud and obnoxious, announcing his arrival as if it was some great event. The woman was a little plain, a little overweight, with little or no make up on and in plain clothes. She had sad, sunken eyes, with big black circles under them, and some bruises on her arms. The man walked over by the bar, plopped her down on a stool (where she remained most of the night) and promptly ordered a drink and handed her a glass of water. 
As the night went on, I found myself watching them intently. He drank more and more, and became more and more obnoxious, shouting out and blatantly checking out all the women who walked by. He wandered around, hitting on waitresses and calling attention to himself, even in the middle of the performance, which was very rude. Whenever he needed another drink, he went to the woman and demanded money, which she promptly pulled out of her purse with shaking hands and handed him. (No doubt she will be to blame when all that money is missing in the morning.) I watched her closely through the night. She rarely smiled or showed any emotion. Didn't talk to anyone, was skittish and jumpy, and mostly stared at the floor unless she was discreetly watching people. I made eye contact with her a few times, but she quickly looked down or away. I've taken enough psychology classes to know the signs of abuse, and she clearly had many of them. I saw her get up and head to the restroom, so I got up and went also, hoping to talk to her away from her man. I couldn't find her, and by the time I came out, she was already perched back on her stool. I finally made and held eye contact with her, and after a moment of trying to relay support to her, it was evident that SHE knew that I knew. Then she quickly turned away and never looked my way again. She was eventually dragged out behind the man who was so messed up he could hardly walk. It has bothered me ever since. 

Please know this. No one deserves to be abused. NO ONE. I have known dear friends and family members who have dealt with abuse. It is scary and difficult and often requires intervention from others. No matter how many times he apologizes, tells you he loves you, or says it will never happen again, it will not change. Get out. There are programs and people to help, and people who are there to keep you safe as you go through it. Please, if you or a loved one are being abused, not only physically, but emotionally or psychologically, get help. Confide in a friend or church leader or family member. It is a long, difficult process, but there is HOPE and HELP out there! 

Let's all keep our eyes open and be aware of others. If you suspect someone is being mistreated, please offer your support. Let's lift and help one another, build each other up, and relay a feeling of confidence and respect to them. Everybody deserves love and respect and to know that someone has faith in them. Love to all! Happy Sunday Friends!