Beauty Can't Be Seen on a Movie Screen

We live in a world where women are constantly bombarded with images that are almost impossible to emulate. Magazines, TV shows, and Hollywood constantly immerse us with what is deemed as "attractive" and "beautiful." We hear stories of women starving themselves, or girls getting plastic surgery to change their appearance when they are way too young.

On the flip side, I attended a meeting about girls camp this week. As I sat there among hundreds of other women, I noticed the row in front of me. Each woman had a different hair color, cut, and style. Some were tall, some were not, some were thin, some were not. Some had conservative clothes and hair-dos, some were sassy and chic. But each of them was beautiful. Light shone from their smiling faces, and I marveled at the beauty that they emitted. They knew where their true beauty and WORTH came from. I'm sure they struggle at times with feelings of inadequacy. We all do. But some of the most beautiful women I have ever known look nothing like those Hollywood prototypes. Their beauty comes within, and they share it with all who know them.

I know my imperfections all too well. I'm a little heavier than I should be, have a few more wrinkles than I want, have crooked teeth and frizzy hair. But I know that I am a daughter of God, and being so, am heir to the only Kingdom that really matters. I hope that you all realize your worth. You are Sons and Daughters of a loving Heavenly Father who made you the way you are, and loves you unconditionally. I hope that you will recognize how much you mean to Him and to all who know you, and I hope you will reach out to lift those who are struggling to see their worth.

Love to all! 

Marriage is Hard

At the end of this month, Mike and I will celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary. What I've learned in 25 years is that I still don't know much about being married, but here are a few things I've learned for those who haven't hit this mark yet. Marriage is HARD. It's WORK. It's not some "fairytale" or "Playing House" kind of thing. No matter how much you love a person, you will disagree. You will fight. You will be so frustrated at times that you want to throw things (Please don't actually throw things.) You will have good times, times of laughter, times of peace. 
But.... You will also have bad times, times of sadness, times of unrest. You will have money problems, work problems, car problems. You will have disagreements with neighbors, family members, friends. You will have times of sickness, times of mourning, times when you don't think you can go on. You will have VERY hard trials. They will either tear you apart, or make you closer. And here's the kicker.... it's YOUR choice. YOU choose how the trials can affect you. You will have times that you need to be forgiven, and times that you need to forgive and forget. We are certainly not the same people that we were when we got married. We have changed and grown and seen what is important. We know each other better than anyone. There is no such thing as a perfect partner, but a perfect marriage is just two people who refuse to give up on each other.
That being said, we have had a difficult year. Between bills and cars and
medical bills, we don't have a lot of money to go on some exotic vacation. We are going to see Styx in Wendover at the end of the month (even though we didn't get great seats this time,) and were going to count that as our Anniversary get away. BUT..... Yesterday Mike surprised me with some exciting news! We are heading to Vegas this weekend for two nights! We will see one of our favorite shows (Raiding the Rock Vault) one night, and Styx the next!!! I'm so excited!!! He still knows how to make my heart flutter. Flowers and Chocolates? Not for this girl. Give me some concert tickets!

I Learned Today that I Grew Up Rich

(Originally posted on Facebook August 10, 2014)

Happy Sunday Friends! This week, Mike and I were able to go up to our ward's overnighter at Camp Woodland. For those who don't know, it's a private, church-owned camp up in the mountains between Morgan and East Canyon. Though we didn't stay the night, we went up for dinner, entertainment, music and enjoyment, and snuck out just before the gate closed and locked for the night. 

As we were driving down the hill into the camp, I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. I love this place. It holds so many memories of good times, friends, family, and testimony building experiences. Hundreds of times I've come down that road, from my earliest memories to just this week. It doesn't look the same as it did when I was young.... New bathrooms, new lodge, bigger trees, new fences.... even the river has changed course slightly... but the FEEL of the camp is the same. It's a feeling of warmth, comfort, and safety. So many hours I spent tubing that river, exploring the trails behind the lodge, finding water snakes to scare mom with (Not her favorite memory.... and now I hate snakes! What was I thinking?) playing endless hours of soccer, volleyball, baseball, and frisbee on that big grassy field during the day, and laying there looking at the bright stars (without any city lights to dim them) at night. My family would sometimes camp the entire week up there. My dad would get up and go to work from there, and mom would stay with us kids through the day. Sometimes there were a few other campers there, and sometimes we were the only ones. Then on Friday night, hoards of people would come up for family camping and ward overnighters, and we'd excitedly wait for friends to arrive. We would always leave there covered with dirt, smelling like campfire, and sporting new cuts and bruises, but filled with happy hearts.

The point I am trying to make on this trip down memory lane is this..... We didn't have a lot of money growing up. We never went without, and my parents saved up to let us play sports, take dance, etc, but there wasn't extra money for frivolous things. We didn't have the biggest house, the newest cars, or the nicest clothes. But my parents made sure to give us the things that made us TRULY rich. We have wonderful memories, parents that loved us and each other, that taught us about sticking together through trials and making the most of it. They took time to teach us to treat others kindly, respect nature, to leave a campsite cleaner than you found it, to stop and look at the clouds, the stars, the sunsets. Those things have shaped my life and made me the person I am today. Today I am rich. Not with money, but with those things that money can't buy. I'm grateful for goodly parents. For Family and Friends. For nature. For memories. 

Have a wonderful day! Remember... you don't have to have money to be rich. :)

Take a moment to be kind

(Originally posted on Facebook August 5th, 2014) The past few days I've been feeling stressed and worried. There are things coming up that I'm in charge of that need to be dealt with, and situations here at home that are leaving me feeling unrest. I've tried to be prepared, pray about it, throw myself into other projects to keep me busy, but none of it has worked.  Luckily, today I was invited to go to the temple with 2 friends. I almost made an excuse not to go, but I decided it couldn't hurt. While in there, I was filled with the most wonderful, calming Spirit, and the feeling that everything would be ok. Then I got to go to lunch with them (thanks to my sweet mom) where we could share thoughts and feelings and help lift each other.  When I got home, I decided to take Roxy with me in the car to get her a treat. I went into the store, found a little treat, and as I was walking down one of the aisles, I stopped next to the picture frames. Suddenly, everything shifted and fell forward. (CRAZY!) I put my hand out to catch some of them, but a huge one fell at my feet and shattered. I felt myself tearing up, because I can't afford to buy it, but knew it was not right to walk away. I stayed in the aisle and flagged down an employee. I told her I didn't know what happened and that I was sorry and would pay for it. She cleaned it up, assured me that it was fine, didn't need to pay for it, and that it happens all the time.  Sometimes it's the little things. Today I'm grateful for answers to prayers, good friends, tender mercies, and an under-paid retail worker that took the time to be kind. :)

Believe in the Power of Prayer

I believe in the power of prayer. There have been too many times in my life that I've received answers to prayers, that could not be coincidental. I recently remembered one such occasion, and would like to share it with you.

As we raised our children, we did our best to instill in them values. We also taught them to believe in God and in the Savior Jesus Christ. We took them to church, had family nights, and started very young teaching them to pray. We taught them to say their personal prayers, and we had family prayer every morning. We weren't perfect at it, but we did the best we could.

At the time of this story, we were living in Nashville. Dallas was 2 1/2 and Dakota was 3 months old. We lived in a nice apartment complex on the second story level. The people who lived beneath us were wonderful. They took our kids on like adoptive Grandparents and were always sweet and helpful. We had a deck that went out from our living room. It was completely enclosed by a solid 4 foot railing, so you couldn't see through it. Dallas liked to look over and talk to the neighbors as they came and went (and would occasionally throw things over so that I'd have to go get them.) He would push a patio chair up to the edge and stand on it so that he could see over the railing. I would watch him and he would entertain the neighbors as they came and went. One day, Mike was late leaving for work and was in a big hurry. As he went to leave, I had the overwhelming feeling that we should have family prayer before he left. I tried to dismiss it, thinking since he was late, I would have prayer with the kids after he left, but the feeling got stronger, so I asked him to hurry and have prayer before he left. I quickly said the prayer, feeling prompted to ask for our family to be safe and protected. Later that day, Dallas asked to go outside, so I opened the sliding glass door for him and left it open so I could watch him while I sat down to feed the baby. After several minutes of him watching the parking lot, I saw him push himself up on the railing and disappear over the edge. I froze in fear. I stared at the railing thinking I must have seen something different and didn't move until a loud pounding and yelling came at my door. It was my downstairs neighbor who grabbed the baby from me, and shouted that I needed to get to Dallas down on the grass below. They had been sitting in their living room watching tv when they saw something fall over the edge. They first thought it was just something that he had thrown over, but quickly noticed it was him. Her husband was on the phone with 911 when I got to Dallas. He was trying to get up, and I held him as carefully as I could. Soon we heard sirens, and he was taken to the hospital by ambulance.

Mike was called by the neighbors and met us at the hospital. After numerous tests, x-rays, and prodding, Dallas was declared perfectly sound. They found not even one cut or bruise on him. Under our deck was a cement patio with sharp rose bushes surrounding it. He somehow missed the concrete and the bushes, and landed on his stomach on the grass next to them. The doctor said that the way he fell was the only way he could've survived a 15 foot fall with no injuries. Had he fallen any other way, he could've broken his legs, back, neck, or crushed his skull. He said it was a miracle, and I know he was right! I KNOW that I needed to say that prayer for protection that morning, and that my Heavenly Father knew it, too. I am grateful for the power of prayer and for the many times it has brought me peace, comfort, and protection in my life.

NO ONE Deserves to Be Abused

(Originally posted on Facebook August 3, 2014)

This Sunday message is a little different, so I hope you'll bear with me. I've had something on my mind for quite some time, and feel it needs to be shared. 

Several weeks ago, we went to see some friends perform with their band at a local restaurant. As we were waiting for the show to start, I saw a man walk in practically dragging a woman by the hand behind him. He was very loud and obnoxious, announcing his arrival as if it was some great event. The woman was a little plain, a little overweight, with little or no make up on and in plain clothes. She had sad, sunken eyes, with big black circles under them, and some bruises on her arms. The man walked over by the bar, plopped her down on a stool (where she remained most of the night) and promptly ordered a drink and handed her a glass of water. 
As the night went on, I found myself watching them intently. He drank more and more, and became more and more obnoxious, shouting out and blatantly checking out all the women who walked by. He wandered around, hitting on waitresses and calling attention to himself, even in the middle of the performance, which was very rude. Whenever he needed another drink, he went to the woman and demanded money, which she promptly pulled out of her purse with shaking hands and handed him. (No doubt she will be to blame when all that money is missing in the morning.) I watched her closely through the night. She rarely smiled or showed any emotion. Didn't talk to anyone, was skittish and jumpy, and mostly stared at the floor unless she was discreetly watching people. I made eye contact with her a few times, but she quickly looked down or away. I've taken enough psychology classes to know the signs of abuse, and she clearly had many of them. I saw her get up and head to the restroom, so I got up and went also, hoping to talk to her away from her man. I couldn't find her, and by the time I came out, she was already perched back on her stool. I finally made and held eye contact with her, and after a moment of trying to relay support to her, it was evident that SHE knew that I knew. Then she quickly turned away and never looked my way again. She was eventually dragged out behind the man who was so messed up he could hardly walk. It has bothered me ever since. 

Please know this. No one deserves to be abused. NO ONE. I have known dear friends and family members who have dealt with abuse. It is scary and difficult and often requires intervention from others. No matter how many times he apologizes, tells you he loves you, or says it will never happen again, it will not change. Get out. There are programs and people to help, and people who are there to keep you safe as you go through it. Please, if you or a loved one are being abused, not only physically, but emotionally or psychologically, get help. Confide in a friend or church leader or family member. It is a long, difficult process, but there is HOPE and HELP out there! 

Let's all keep our eyes open and be aware of others. If you suspect someone is being mistreated, please offer your support. Let's lift and help one another, build each other up, and relay a feeling of confidence and respect to them. Everybody deserves love and respect and to know that someone has faith in them. Love to all! Happy Sunday Friends!

July 27, 2014

Good Morning Friends! Happy Sunday! Here's a little message to think about:
Last week, Mike and I decided to go to a Friday afternoon dollar show. We decided on a movie (Heaven is for Real. Excellent!) and we were slow to get out of the house. We finally rushed out, worried that we would be late, only to realize when we got in the car that I had forgotten to bring the refillable mugs. I ran back inside, dug them out, and we were on our way.

As we were coming around the freeway on-ramp, Mike said, "Slow down. Something just happened up there." As we came onto the freeway, all the traffic was slamming on their brakes, and there was debris still flying all over the road. A minivan pulling a flatbed trailer was upside down on the side of the road. We immediately tried to pull over, but there was no where to go because of the great number of cars that had already stopped. There were people running at full speed from every direction toward the wreckage. There is a frontage road that also runs next to the freeway, and people had stopped and were actually scaling the fence to get to the van. I felt peace that there were plenty of people to help and heard sirens in the distance. I was crying at the display before me. We went on our way, praying the entire time that the people involved would be ok. (We found out later that they were taken to the hospital but didn't have any life threatening injuries.)

Two things I've learned from this experience. First, I believe that we were purposely delayed in leaving the house. I believe that had we left just a minute or two sooner, we could've been involved in this terrible accident. I am so thankful that we were being watched over. Second, I had an overwhelming feeling when I saw those people running to help. THAT, my friends, is what it means to truly love your neighbor. These people had places to be, things to do, meetings to attend, But they didn't think about how late they would be, the danger they were in, or what kind of horrible scene they may come upon. They saw a need, they stopped, and RAN to the rescue of a complete stranger. This gave me a new hope and faith in humanity. That is what life is all about. We don't always come upon a horrible accident or a blatant need, but what about those in our lives that need a shoulder to cry on, a hug, or someone to talk to? Are we dropping everything and RUNNING to their rescue? Or are we making excuses that we're too busy, too tired, or simply don't want to deal with it? There is need all around us. May we pay attention and take the time to stop and help. 

July 20, 2014

Since Pioneer Days festivities are here in Utah this week, my Sunday message will be a little different. I hope you'll bear with me. I am proud to say that I come from a long line of pioneer ancestors. I would like to share a story of my (I think) 5th great Grandfather, Charles Duncan. Charles and his family lived in Scotland, where he worked in a quarry as a stone cutter. They joined the church and prepared to cross the ocean to meet up with the Saints in America. As he was working to make enough money to make the crossing, his right arm was crushed in an accident. He was told that it would need to be amputated, but he refused to let them. They operated and removed several pieces of bone. Just before they were set to sail, gangrene set in. He was very ill, and was told by the Doctor that he was not well enough to make the journey, so he tried to convince his wife to go without him. She refused, so he agreed to come, and said that if he didn't make the trip, he would be buried at sea. The first night they were on board, his wife dreamed that she should wrap him in a quilt, lower him in a lifeboat, and he should drag his arm in the water. She had the same dream three times that night, and when she awoke, she shared it with Charles. He said that he didn't want to do it, but eventually she convinced him that she would come with him. The next night, they were tied into a life boat, and lowered into the sea. The cold salt water was horribly painful on his arm, but eventually he was able to sleep. It was the first time since his accident that he'd been able to sleep. So each night after that, they were lowered into the water and pulled behind the ship. By the time they reached America, his arm was healed and he was even able to help unload the ship. Their journey didn't end there. They still had to join the Saints, and because of extreme persecution, they had to join a handcart company to cross the plains to a desert wasteland with a giant lake filled with salt water where they could build a city and not be harassed. They buried family members along the way, some because of hunger, freezing, or illness. But they persevered and eventually made it to the Salt Lake Valley. Charles continued to work as a stone mason, and ended up cutting granite for the building of the Salt Lake Temple. I am honored to be a part of a heritage that is rich with strength, courage, endurance, and most of all... FAITH. They knew that whatever they had to endure, there was peace, comfort, and rest at the end of their journey. They knew that the most important things in life aren't things. I hope to meet them all one day and give them my thanks for the many sacrifices they made for us. Happy Sunday Friends! Hang in there! We're all in this together!

July 13, 2014

Good Morning friends! Guess what day it is? Here's a little Sunday message for you: When we first arrived at Bear Lake on Monday, we saw a nest of baby birds just outside the women's rest room. The nest was up about 10 feet high, and the mother would come and go trying to keep the babies fed. As we came and went, we enjoyed watching their little mouths begging for food. Early Wednesday morning, my sister in law approached the bathroom and realized that someone had knocked the nest down during the night. She hurried to my other sister in law, who has had experience rehabilitating birds, and told her what had happened. They realized that 2 birds had not survived the fall and quickly scooped up the remaining 3. For the rest of the trip, she painstakingly fed those 3 birds (til we lost one more) every couple of hours, coaxing their mouths open with tweezers. Some people would say, "It's part of nature" or "It's not my problem" or, of course, "They're probably not going to make it anyway, why bother!"  Do you know why? One word. HOPE. Maybe they wouldn't make it. Maybe they were too young, or had been injured too much. But.....maybe they WOULD. Hope holds a very special place in my heart. It has the power to change everything. Of course, hope has to be combined with action. But even the slightest glimmer of hope can push us to action. Hope is very powerful. To some (like me) there is hope of a Higher Being, a Heaven, a better place. We all hope for a better future for our families, our jobs, our country. In a seemingly evil world, we hope for peace, for prosperity, for good to prevail. We have all had hard times in our lives, when we have lost hope. We feel that there is nothing good to come, or that we can never make it past that time. But hope can change even the darkest times. Hope has the power to lift us from the chasms of abuse. Hope can release us from the clutches of addiction. Hope can give us strength and courage through health problems, job problems, family problems. It can change hearts, and in so doing, can change the world.  To those who are the continual optimists, who almost constantly maintain hope in their lives, I say, keep it up! You are a light and beacon to those around you. YOU make a difference.  And to those who are struggling with difficult times, I say, HANG ON. Don't give up hope. There is PEACE and LIGHT and HAPPINESS ahead.  Have a wonderful day. My hope is that all of you know that I love you and that you are important. Love to All. ♥

July 12, 2014

As I was raising my children, there were many days (more than I can count) that I felt like a failure. I tried my best to be a good mother, teach them well, keep them dressed and fed, give them skills to survive on their own. I helped with homework, volunteered in their classes, coached soccer teams. Some people would say I "Put my life on hold" to raise them as a stay at home mother. (I disagree...I feel like that IS life.) But more often than not, I felt inferior. I wasn't patient enough, lost my temper, said things I shouldn't. I felt I was too strict, or not strict enough. At times I probably made them feel they weren't good enough at school, at sports, at home. But despite all my failures as a mother, they continue to surprise me. I am so proud of them and the men they have become.   Just this week, Logan received his Phlebotomy Certification while continuing to work. Also, despite being hit by a car, losing his job, and finding out that he was one class short, Dakota stayed Summer Semester in St George, and now has officially graduated with an Associate of Science degree.  When I look at my kids (ALL of them) I figure I must have done something right. And they love me despite my inadequacies. (Most days) :)

July 6, 2014

Good morning Friends! Here's a Sunday message for you:

On the 4th of July we went to a water park with Mike's family. You all know that putting on a swimsuit leaves very little room for error. Every flaw, every roll is enhanced. We were having a great time, but sitting at the end of the pool were 4 women. These were NOT model type women, and had NO room to judge, but they sat there and mocked every woman that walked by. One would whisper, then all would turn and stare, then laugh, roll their eyes, or make rude comments. They did it to me, too. They were making everyone uncomfortable, and some would even go all the way around to avoid their taunting. Why would you do something like that? Why waste so much time and energy degrading others when we should be lifting them up? They were bitter, cynical people who were tearing others down to make themselves feel better. It's a human trait. 

It's also a guarantee that when you are at your lowest point, someone else is at their highest. It is very difficult to be happy for someone when you are having hard times. Sometimes we feel jealous or resentful of their "perfect" life. Several years ago, we were having a really hard time. Things were bad and getting worse, and no matter how hard we tried to stay above water, we kept getting knocked down and then kicked while we were down. At this same time, an acquaintance of mine on Facebook was having much luck and success. I remember thinking, "If I have to read one more post about how perfect her life is, I'm going to hide her!" Low and behold, up came another post. "No," I thought, "I don't want to be one of those people. I will just do my best to make a happy response, even if I have to fake it." So I told her how happy I was for her and wished her luck in everything she did, and you know what? Everything changed. Not my circumstances, nor hers. You know what changed? Me.
Sometimes it's still hard to suffer while others succeed or not to criticize or judge, but I'm making a conscious effort to work on it.

That being said, tomorrow I will go to Bear Lake. I will wear a swimsuit and not care what others think about me. I will ROCK this imperfect body of mine, and be happy for those who still have their perfect one. And you know what? We'll ALL have a great time. :)

June 29, 2014

I know you've all been anxiously awaiting a Sunday message from me, so here it is! 
The other day when I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital being offended by a druggie (See Friday's post if you missed it) a woman was brought in on a gurney from an ambulance. They wheeled her through and into registration, and we didn't see her again for a while. Meanwhile, security took the man who was offending me (pretty sure they thought I was going to hurt him after he told me I looked 54), the other people were called out or went home, and I was sitting there alone. A few minutes later, the woman from the ambulance was wheeled over by me in a wheelchair. You could tell by the look on her face that she was in an excruciating amount of pain. I was looking at my phone and had a strong impression come to me. "Talk to her." 
"No," I thought, "I don't want to bother her. She looks miserable and probably isn't in the mood for conversation."
Again...."Talk to her." I glanced up and noticed she was wearing running clothes and had a Ragnar (a two day relay race along the backside of the Wasatch Mountains) "tattoo" on her upper arm.
"Are you another Ragnar casualty?" I asked. 

She looked up, gave me a half smile, and said, "Yeah, I guess I am." I asked her what happened, and she went on to tell me that as she was running, she got a sharp pain in her back, but was determined to finish her leg of the relay, so she ran another 3 miles (THREE MILES????) to the end of her leg, then collapsed on her knees and couldn't get up. She had to stop periodically through her story because she would inhale sharply and hold her breath (clearly in pain). I talked to her about back problems, how much I respect runners, and we laughed about the oxy-moron of "WAITING in an EMERGENCY Room." Finally, they came to get her to take her to a room. As the nurse went to turn her chair, she said, "Wait!" She turned her head, and with tears in her eyes, said, "Thank You."

"Sure!" I answered, and wished her luck.
"No," she said, "I really don't know how I would've sat here without someone to talk to. Having a distraction really helped." Then she said to the Nurse, "She's so nice. She was a life-saver." 

It was something so simple to me, and I almost justified my way out of it. We really don't know what others are going through. We all get those feelings, and whether we call them the Spirit, The Holy Ghost, Intuition, or just a prompting, may we listen when we get them. You just might be the answer to someone's prayer, or the light they need in their life. 
Happy Sunday Friends! Love to All! 

June 28, 2014

This weekend, here in Utah, is the annual Air Show at Hill Air Force Base. The base is only a mile or two from my house, so we've been enjoying the Blue Angels and Thunderbirds practicing the past few days. They are loud and thunderous, and I LOVE it.

The Air Show always reminds me of my Grandpa Gardner. He was a jet engine mechanic on HAFB. He even developed a tool to more efficiently work on the engines, and they made more and shipped them all over the world. He loved those planes so much. He would talk about them all the time, would take us to the base for the show, and introduce us to his buddies. He lived right by the base, so they would constantly fly over his house. I remember being over there, and anytime he heard them coming, he would look up and watch, then tell you what type of jet it was. Just after his funeral, we were standing at his grave sight while the grave was dedicated, and two jets flew right over our heads. It brought smiles and tears to all of us. Pretty sure he had something to do with it. 

I'm positive he's enjoying the Air Show today from a different angle up there. :)

June 22, 2014

Here's a little Sunday message:

Many years ago, I owned a particular slip that I hated. (Yes, just the kind that women wear under dresses and skirts.) It was fine originally, but through the years, the elastic in the waist stretched out, and it was always falling down, twisting around, or riding up. I should've gotten rid of it, but I just kept hanging on to it, mostly in case the other slips were dirty, too long, etc. but every time I wore it, it CONSUMED me. It was uncomfortable, and I would forget how much I hated it until I left to go somewhere, and then my thoughts were always on it.... checking, rearranging, pulling up, pulling down.
One day, I was in a hurry to go to a Young Women activity where I had to wear a dress. I got dressed, couldn't find my good slip, and pulled on the hated one. As we were walking down the street in a huge crowd of women to a meeting, my slip suddenly fell straight to the ground. Embarrassed, I just stepped out and kept on going. (Disclaimer.... I do NOT condone littering. I should've gone back, but I didn't.) And you know what? I felt FREE. RELIEF. I had been hanging on to that stupid slip for so long, and all I needed to do was let it fall and walk away.
How many of us have that one thing in our lives that is a constant irritant? Yet we hang on to it. Maybe we feel like we need it. Maybe we don't know how to let it go. Whether it's guilt, anger, offense, sin, feelings of inadequacy.... whatever it is that is causing us discomfort, irritability, pain, or distress, that one thing that constantly stresses you and consumes you, know that you CAN let it go. Drop that slip on the street and walk away. You will feel such a great weight removed from yourself when you do!

Happy Sunday Blessing to all of You, my friends! Keep your chin up. You are GOOD, STRONG, and ENOUGH.

June 11, 2014

Just drove past a lady running. She was quite heavy set and moving along at a slow pace. I don't know her, but my heart swells with pride for her! She has to know that people will snicker and make fun behind her back, and she's being passed constantly by tiny runners in tiny shorts, but she's out there anyway, shuffling along. 

Here's what I'd like to say to her. "Keep going. Don't give up. You'll feel so good if you make it to the end of this run. Don't compare yourself to others. I hope you see results right away, but more importantly, I hope you FEEL results right away.You go girl! You can do it!".... and most of all, "You're miles ahead of the rest of us who didn't run at all today."

June 8, 2014

It's a little later than usual, but here's a Sunday message to think about.
Yesterday I finally went to see Divergent. (I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I'll let you make that call for yourselves.) For those who don't know the story, it is about a place where people are put into groups, or "Factions" depending upon certain personality traits, inclinations, or upbringing. They are separated by intelligence, compassion, bravery, etc. Then there are an elite few who are called "Divergent's." They are the ones who show strong connections with ALL the factions. They think for themselves and thus create a threat to those in charge, fearing they can't be controlled. 

I started thinking about how this movie relates to our lives. Of course we are not forced to choose a group, but as humans, WE make our own assessments and place people in groups or classifications. In high school, there were the Jocks, the Stoners, the Cowboys. There were the Cheerleader/Drill teams, the Band/Choir Geeks, The Drama Nerds. And then there were the ones who didn't seem to fit in anywhere...The "Faction-less." As we grew older, we became classified by our schooling, careers, religion, what we wear, what we drive, where we live, what family or upbringing we came from. We are quick to judge and place people in the group that we think they belong in based on our basic knowledge of them or how they appear on the surface.

Why do we do that? I think if we took a little more time to get to know people before automatically classifying them, we would come to find out that they are all complex beings. We all have likes, dislikes, dreams, fears, and hopes. Let's give people a chance to show who they really are..... to see their HEART. And maybe we all should become a little more "Divergent," too. We can work on the things that don't come easy to us. We can face our fears, try to be more compassionate, learn something new, and by doing so, become more well-rounded and and more willing to see those traits in others. 

May 25, 2014

I've been thinking about something quite a bit lately, so I thought I would share it with you in a little Sunday message. I continually listen to and observe conversations, whether in person or here on social networking, and sometimes I hear things that bother me, but I don't want to embarrass people, so I usually don't speak up. The few times I have said something have been quipped by, "Oh that's different" or "I didn't mean you." So here goes. Be careful what you say. 

You have no idea the struggles people have been or are going through in their lives. Just because my child makes bad decisions doesn't mean that I'm a bad parent, that I didn't love and teach them correctly. Just because someone is an addict, doesn't mean they are weak. Because someone struggles with depression does not mean that they are just negative people who want attention. Because someone doesn't dress or do their hair in the latest style doesn't mean that they don't care about their appearance or that they don't yearn for acceptance. Because someone is dirty and homeless does not mean that they don't have physical needs and emotional struggles and feelings. We are so quick to judge and we forget one very important thing: MERCY.

Neither you nor I, nor anyone else on this planet is perfect. We have temptations, trials, and hardships. We make mistakes and make them again. We wouldn't want everyone to know the struggles that we go through but quickly judge others and how they handle them. So let's all try a little harder to show a little more mercy. After all, Isn't that what we all need?

April 29, 2014

There's a sweet little boy in my class who is always complimenting others, like... "That's a nice shirt!" or "You look darling today." But my favorite thing about him is that he enthusiastically shares in everyone's successes. "You did it!" "Great job!" "That's a really good picture!" And I got to thinking.... why don't the rest of us do that more often in our lives? 

We are pretty good at mourning with those who mourn, or comforting those who need comfort, but there's a little part inside the human spirit that feels that celebrating the successes of others somehow makes US less successful. We all have different talents. Some are outwardly apparent, and some are not. But NOBODY'S talents or abilities are more important than any others. I've found that by making a conscious effort to applaud other people in their successes, I've been able to find some more of my own. And the best part? It makes me a happier person. 

Let's all try a little harder to share in the excitement, joys, and achievements of others. I think you'll find it won't make you any less successful yourself. :)

March 28, 2014

I've been thinking a lot about my teen years the past few days. (Probably those throw back pictures....) and I was reminded of a little growing experience I had in Jr High, and thought I'd share... I have always loved musical theater, and was in Musical Theater and Production classes all through Jr High and High School. I am a decent dancer, so I could hold my own there, but mostly a mediocre singer. I was usually cast in a small speaking role, but mostly sang only in a chorus. When I was in the 9th grade, it was announced that we would be performing Tom Sawyer. Because of the limited number of parts, the teacher had decided to double-cast the show. The show would run 4 nights, each cast performing 2 nights. I was cast as Cousin Mary. That meant I would have to sing. SOLO. The other Mary was THAT girl. You know, the incredibly talented and beautiful one with the awesome, professionally trained voice. She was cast as the lead in almost every show. How could I compete with that? I practiced and worried myself to death. Finally, just a few days before the show, the teacher pulled me aside to practice. He asked me what was wrong. I told him my insecurities and that I didn't think I could do it, that compared to the other girl, I would sound horrible. He reminded me that we would never actually be singing together, so it didn't matter what she could do. Then he said to me, "Look at me. YOU CAN DO THIS. If I didn't think you could do it, I never would have cast you in this role." From that point I decided that good or bad, I would give it all I had. And guess what? I did it. And I DIDN'T suck. :) Remember, whether you think you can, or you think you can't.... You're right. Whatever you need to do, or whatever trial you have to get through, or whatever you are challenged with in this life, BELIEVE you can do it! You got this. I have faith in you! :)

March 7, 2014

It's funny how quickly your perspective changes when something happens to your family. I was so excited yesterday when I found out that I was a finalist in the Foreigner lip sync contest. It was totally unexpected, and a fun surprise. Then I got a call from my son Dakota who is going to college about 5 hours from here in St George. He told me what was going on and his plans for the summer. We talked for quite a while. It's always good to hear from him. 

Then Last night around 8 o'clock, I received a call from a paramedic in St George. He told me that Dakota had been hit by a car at an intersection in a crosswalk, and that he was being taken to the hospital. He did tell me that he was coherent and talking (and joking) with them. For an agonizing 2 and a half hours we waited for news. I prayed like I never have before. Suddenly everything else became insignificant. Finally a call came in, and I heard a tired voice say, "Hi Mom. Just want to let you know that I'm ok." How grateful I am for miracles in my life! He has a severe concussion and road rash and bruises all over, but he is expected to make a full recovery. He was crossing the cross walk with a walk sign when a pizza delivery driver came around the corner without stopping (he was programming his GPS) and hit him, witnesses say, at about 30 miles per hour. He was flipped completely and landed on the windshield of the car before falling to the road. Had he not hit the car, police say he would have landed on his head in the road and would most likely have been killed. So grateful for tender mercies and a loving Father in Heaven who had his eye on him! 

For those of you who know Kota, he is always the Joker, and was apparently making jokes even in the ambulance. He told the paramedic, "Just think how late that pizza is going to be!"

Love that boy! 

March 2, 2014

Here's a Sunday message for all of you. (Sorry it's so long!)

In 2009, life as we knew it was spiraling downward. Mike was struggling with health problems, the business we had built was becoming obsolete because of lending problems and the housing market tanking. We were dealing with problems at school, court dates, doctor visits, and many other issues. I was working part time, and driving everyone to their sports, activities, doctor appointments, while trying to hold church callings and take care of a household. Then I got sick. 

I struggled through it for a couple of weeks, citing I didn't have time to be sick. I was the only driver, I had to get everyone where they needed to be, my family needed me. I became DEATHLY ill, and was admitted to the hospital. I was told that at that point, I had less than 24 hours to live... severly dehydrated, organs shutting down, raging infection. Luckily they determined the problem right away, but it would take time to regain my health. I couldn't eat or drink, was fed through IV's and a PIC line. This contributed to more problems. ..insulin levels, collapsed lung due to water retention, etc.

Several days later, on a Sunday morning, I lay there in that hospital bed, so shaky and weak I could hardly move, wondering why this had to happen at the worst possible time. I needed to be home. My family needed me. Then came a knock on my door. Two men in suits asked if I would like to take the Sacrament, and if I would like them to share a message with me. They read a beautiful message, then gave it to me to keep. It lifted my spirits, and I've reflected back on it several times. I'd like to share it with you. Among other things, it states, (quote from Orson F Whitney) "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience, is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the Children of God."

I know many friends and family are suffering trials and pain. Please know that it is not wasted. You WILL make it through and become stronger. Have a happy Sunday!

February 19, 2014

Today I was feeling a little frumpy. I was wearing my oldest battered scrubs and my old tennis shoes. I got ready for the day and did my hair and makeup, but by the time I got into the school through the crazy wind and sleet, I looked pretty hammered.  I took two of my first graders to the library with their regular ed class, and we were waiting in line to check in our books, when one little girl smiled at me and said, (keep in mind these kids don't really know me, they have just seen me a few times dropping our kids off, etc.) "I think you're the best teacher ever!" I thanked her, and the little girl behind her looked at me and said, "You look so nice today! You are so pretty!" Funny how something so small can make such a difference in your day. Maybe we all need to work on being a little more like first graders. :)

January 5, 2014

 A while ago at a Festival of Trees Board Meeting, there was a story shared with us. (My Festival friends will probably remember this.) It was about a wonderful Christian Oncologist who works for Primary Children's Hospital. He is kind, loving, prayerful, would go to worship almost every day before work, and loved the children. 
One day, he had a meeting with a little 7 year old boy and his parents. The boy had had cancer, and had gone into remission, but the latest test results revealed that the cancer had returned. He was going over treatment options and a plan on how to beat it, when the angry little boy defiantly stated,"YOU can't heal me. The only person who can make me better is Heavenly Father."
Without missing a beat, the Dr. Looked him in the eye and said, "Well, who do you think I work for?"

We were then asked to evaluate ourselves and our own lives and ask ourselves the same question, which, at the start of this New Year, I'm posing to you also. "Who do YOU work for?" In our dealings with our families, friends, neighbors, colleagues... who are we working for? Are we kind, caring, tolerant of others and beliefs that may be different than ours? Do we set a good example, love unconditionally and try to be more Christ-like? Let's all take some time and think about our own lives and the ways we can improve. I know I have a long way to go.

December 13, 2013

A dear friend of mine told me she envied my life and liked to follow me on facebook so she could live vicariously through me. Though that was sweet, I think some may have a misconception of how ideal my life really is. I do like to be positive and funny on here, and like to share with you the fun things we do. But the truth is, my life is very NORMAL. And by normal, I mean that I have many struggles and trials, sometimes boredom, and often frustration and concern. We have illness, injuries,, surgeries, money problems, fights with insurance. We have problems at work, at church, with the house, with the cars, with the kids. I often spend long nights awake with worry over situations that I can't control. My job is such that I may or may not be covered in a variety of bodily fluids depending on the day. I mean, how charming is THAT?  But you see, that is LIFE. Because I choose not to dwell on the negative things that happen to me does not mean I don't have them. Sometimes people hurt us, sometimes we get stabbed in the back, or even crapped on (Literally, or figuratively!)  I simply choose to focus on the good things I have in my life, and try to make a difference in the lives of others. If I can bring a little relief, helping hand, or just a smile to someone who needs it, I feel I have done my part in the world that day.  May you all know how much I love you and value your friendship. Your differing ideas and personalities bring joy and variety to my life. Loves to all. ♥

December 10, 2013

Sharing a sweet story that happened at Festival of Trees this year. We have many of them happen each year. We call them "Festival Miracles." Take a minute to read it, it will warm your heart. :)

By Camilla Larsen

My heart is full of love and gratitude for a God who is mindful of us all.
At the Festival of Trees today: 
An older gentleman: (while handing me a $100) "This is so that the next 20 people can experience Christmas."

Me: "Your total is $30, which has already been taken care of"
Festival Attendee: "what?!!?, what do you mean taken care of?" (with a shocked look and tears coming to her eyes) 
Me: A gentleman earlier took care of it already. 
Festival Attendee: Can I share my experience this morning with you? 
Me: Sure, Absolutely! (Seeing that there wasn't a line)
Festival Attendee: My eight year old daughter secretively saved up since coming last year and asked me numerous times throughout the year, "when is the festival of trees mom?" "I told her the dates", and she asked if we could go on the Saturday. "I told her that Saturday would be good." This morning while I was talking with my husband and planning our day we decided that we couldn't afford to get our entire family in and pay for gas and food while we were out, so we decided that it wasn't a good decision. Shortly my daughter ran in and said "mom, is today the Festival of Trees?" and I said "it is, but daddy and I decided that we can't afford to all go. My sweet daughter with a beautiful bright smile said, "yes we can!" and ran away. She returned with a hot pink shoe box full of coins and mostly dollar bills with a few five dollar bills. I started to tear up knowing what she had done over the year. My daughter told my husband and I that Jesus gave her the idea. So, I proceeded to count her money and she had a total of $32. She asked me if it was enough for our entire family and I told her that it was perfect. With the hot pink shoe box in tow, we got ready this morning for a beautiful day that my eight year old sacrificed so much for. 
Me: Thank you for sharing, that is truly incredible! Happy Holidays! 
Festival Attendee: "It will be, this is a great way to start it off, this is a Christmas Miracle." 
-the lady was very emotional and chocked up, and left with tears rolling down her face.
*****This family "coincidentally" lines up right behind the older gentleman. Maybe he saw the hot pink shoe box. — feeling super.

November 15, 2013

I ran into a guy who I (apparently) went to high school with. He didn't look familiar, and I said, "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name," hoping it would jog my memory. Nope. But as we were talking, it was evident he knew all about me... I was a dancer, ran track, did drama, etc. I felt bad that I didn't know anything about him, that I didn't take the time to take an interest in him. Did I ignore him, treat him less than kind?
Just before parting ways, he said, "I just want to say thanks for always being nice to me. I always remembered that."

I wouldn't know him in the streets from Adam, but I was relieved that I didn't treat him badly. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I say or do things that are not the me I want to be, and I want to apologize for anything I've done that would make anyone feel bad. I hope that when I leave this earth, most people will remember me as a kind person. I will continue to work on it.
Have a wonderful day! Love to all.

October 25, 2013

Here's my thought of the day: On Walnuts and People....

The house we currently live in has a huge walnut tree out front. It provides wonderful shade and a bazillion walnuts falling almost constantly. I am allergic to nuts, and my immediate family members are not big walnut fans, so the fruit is not much good for us, but family members and friends have expressed a desire for some, and so I've collected many bags of them. 

The thing about walnuts (if you've never seen a tree) is that most of them don't fall looking like that pretty little brown nut that you see in the mixed nuts at the supermarket. A few do (and that is much easier on me!) but most fall with part or all of the green or black shell around it still in tact. I decided last week while I was home nursing my babies who had surgery that I would shell some and dry them and put them in bags for a family member. I quickly picked up the "pretty" ones, and upon cracking them, discovered that some of them were perfect and good, but many of them were shriveled, un-usable, or even rancid. When I began shelling some of the ones that were seemingly ugly or tattered, I discovered the same thing. Some were bad, but some of the most undesirable ones had the most beautiful fruit inside. 
I think people are the same way. We put the "beautiful" people on a pedestal without really checking to see what kind of people they really are on the inside. Some of them are as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside, but some of them are ugly, or even rancid on the inside. Often we judge those who are not deemed as "beautiful" or "desirable" as lesser or not worth our time or attention. But if we take time to get to know them, we may discover some of the most beautiful fruit comes from these people. 

Moral of the story: When judging people (or walnuts) make sure you see what's inside first.

October 3, 2013

Yesterday evening, we had wind, rain, and storms come in for a few hours. Like most dogs, Roxy doesn't like the stormy weather, so when it came time to take her out before bed, I put my shoes and coat on and took her outside. The storm had calmed and as I looked up at the clouds, right in the middle of the sky, a small section of clouds had cleared and the stars were shining through. What a wonderful sight! It reminded me that even on the stormiest of days (or weeks, or months) the bright shining stars of hope are STILL THERE. That even when we can't see the light, it is STILL THERE. 

I was reminded of the lyrics, "When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us, and threaten our peace to destroy... there is hope smiling brightly before us, and we know that deliverance is nigh..."
May we all weather the storms with the knowledge that there will always be light on the other side, if only we take the time to look up. 

September 27, 2013

Perspective. I was reminded of this today.... 
Between work, elections, church, soccer, Young Women's, and Festival of Trees now coming full swing, I was driving to Primary Children's Hospital this morning for two Festival meetings and thinking that I have taken on too much and maybe I got myself in over my head. I was feeling very anxious and overwhelmed, and to add to the feeling, there is construction all around the hospital (Good things to come! But adding to the stress nonetheless.) 

As hospital traffic was diverted around the back of the hospital, (where public traffic usually is not allowed) a gurney is being wheeled out with a tiny lifeless body wrapped in blankets. One family is mourning the loss of their little one today. How bad has YOUR day REALLY been? 
It's all about perspective.

August 11, 2013

Feeling a little reflective today, and I was thinking back at the past 23 years of my life and wondering if I would do things differently. Coming out of High School, I had big plans and a full ride scholarship. Then along came a handsome man with big plans of his own and I put my plans aside to follow his dreams. Kids came sooner than planned, and life got crazy. 

College, traveling, and seeing the world took a backseat to stretch marks, diapers, and sleepless nights. Next came little league, preschool, and Cub Scouts. Then braces, comp teams, and spending days on end as the Taxi mom. High School teams, Proms and Homecomings, driving, dating, and graduations followed. Interspersed throughout were hugs and kisses, notes to mom, heartache and pain, injuries and illnesses, prayers and pleadings. Now they are all men and pursuing their own careers, degrees, and futures. Would I trade any of it now for the for the playing, college, and traveling?

Not for the world.

July 27, 2013 Had a neat thing happen to me today! Wanted to share: I was hurrying through Walmart to grab a few things, wondering what possessed me to go to Walmart on a Saturday, but actually chuckling and rolling my eyes at the antics of people. I checked out and was heading toward the door when I saw an older gentleman watching me. He was standing next to the wall and holding a cane, so I smiled, and just then he motioned for me to come over to him. I did, and noticed his face paralyzed on one side and he struggled to speak (possibly a stroke victim.) He leaned in close. "Keep smiling," he said. "I will," I said and smiled back. He reached for my hand. "Have you ever noticed that people have stopped smiling?" I replied that I had. "Why do you think that is?" He asked. "I don't know," I said, "Maybe they just get caught up in things and are too busy." "The world is a bad place nowadays." He paused, and then added "But not THAT bad. Thank you for your smile. I needed it today." "You're welcome," I said and squeezed his hand, "Have a good day!" He just smiled. :) What a sweet reminder to me that even though the world can be a bad place, it's not THAT bad, and that something as small as a smile CAN make a difference to someone!

June 12, 2013

I've been a little reflective today as my baby turned 18. Found myself looking at the picture I posted earlier from his 3rd Birthday with great fondness and love. I remember when he had his longboarding accident 3 years ago and was laying in that hospital bed that his then 6'2" frame didn't fit in (6'4" now) that no matter how old he got, he would always be my little boy.

I am proud of all my guys for the men they have become, but I realized today that a part of me will always see them as those sweet little boys who loved their mom and brought so much joy to my life. 

Gives me a little insight into what a loving Heavenly Father thinks of us. May we always live in a way to make him proud.